New Editions

OK, so the two new kittens have arrived. The kids are happy. The new kittens are litter mates. One has a perfect tail (difficult to find in Thailand) while the other one has a stubby, crooked tail as do most other cats in this country.

Mali named stubby tail "Tiger" because she misses the old Tiger. Douglas Pai named the other kitten "Hero" as he is still on the path to becoming a superhero himself. I probably would have chosen different names, but what can I say, when I was 7 or 8 I named our new kitten "Hercules." Herc was with us for about 20 years!



Phum Phuey, our Dog, Senior Pet and the Ponderosa's Director of Homeland Security has not yet commented publicly, but in private she is expressing "grave concerns" over this new arrangement's impact on household peace and stability.

In past interviews, Phuey has frequently mentioned the need to close the border of the Ponderosa to any new immigrants citing concerns over allowing potential terrorist animals into the compound, spread of fleas, ticks and other parasites, and the general the lack of resources to maintain additional pets at the Ponderosa. She is noted to be particularly concerned about any potential re-allocation of pet food rations, stating that such re-allocations would be greatly inconvenient to Mom and Dad, but denies being concerned about her own rations.

Phuey is well known to be particularly scornful of cats, stating that "they smell funny, they make no attempt to learn our language and they can't be trusted - they just don't belong here."

Mom is quoted as saying she is looking forward to the kittens beginning their mousing duties in the coffee bean storage room outside the house. She has already issued preemptive warnings about scratching up furniture, bringing in fleas or peeing anywhere other than designated areas. She hopes the new kittens will keep the kids gainfully occupied for a while.

Dad has already put both kittens on probation for disconnecting the modem line to his computer, absconding with a sock, holding relay races up to the top of the screen door using their nails for traction and for dipping into his yogurt cup when he wasn't looking and then trying to deny it, although the evidence was all over their faces.

So far, the two new kittens have not shown any concern about their tenuous status at the Ponderosa.

When asked how they felt they were fitting in, Tiger - who now appears to be the spokescat for the two, said "yeah - whatever."